Wrecked Unidentified Flying Object
Date: December 2017
Location: 26th & Ogden
Contents: Unknown
Denver, CO.
Recently discovered in the heart of Five Points, Denver, Colorado, Earth, proof that tiny aliens exist.
A small spacecraft was uncovered on site at Lenore B. Quick Park at the intersection of 26th and Ogden on December 8, 2017.
Measuring eleven centimeters across made of what appears to be a type of plastic material (compound analysis currently underway), a square hole with an X sits in the middle of the UFO, potentially how aliens entered and exited the spacecraft or it is designed for better aerodynamics. Three convex plastic bubbles are arranged four centimeters apart from each other. Could also be an aerodynamic design element or a cultural marking of sorts. Ridged outer layer.
Unclear whether device flies with edges up, down, or both.
The found object appears to be damaged beyond repair.
No sign of intelligent life on or near discovery.
Trace amounts of orange sticky liquid remain. Could indicate fuel leak, explosion, or biological residue (further analysis underway).
Unwarranted opinion:
Spacecraft could potentially belong to the Squiby Mantis Ants sect or the Red Glugs. Motivation for travel to Earth currently unclear. The Squiby Mantis Ants are said to be quaint, harmless, and fun, unlike the Red Glugs, which are known for planting devastating bacterias on planets and ruining the land and water essentially killing every living thing on in and under the surface. The Red Glugs do this in order to take over the planet themselves as the entire species are sex addicts who multiply by the millions every day and are constantly in search of new places to take over (when they are not fucking each other that is).
Let us hope we have found an SMA UFO or else planet Earth is doomed.
What The Conspiracy?! 