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What the Evidence: Tiny UFO FOUND In Denver

Wrecked Unidentified Flying Object

Date: December 2017
Location: 26th & Ogden
Contents: Unknown

UFO3Glob

Denver, CO.

Recently discovered in the heart of Five Points, Denver, Colorado, Earth, proof that tiny aliens exist.

A small spacecraft was uncovered on site at Lenore B. Quick Park at the intersection of 26th and Ogden on December 8, 2017.

Measuring eleven centimeters across made of what appears to be a type of plastic material (compound analysis currently underway), a square hole with an X sits in the middle of the UFO, potentially how aliens entered and exited the spacecraft or it is designed for better aerodynamics. Three convex plastic bubbles are arranged four centimeters apart from each other. Could also be an aerodynamic design element or a cultural marking of sorts. Ridged outer layer.

UFO1GlobsUnclear whether device flies with edges up, down, or both.

The found object appears to be damaged beyond repair.

No sign of intelligent life on or near discovery.

Trace amounts of orange sticky liquid remain. Could indicate fuel leak, explosion, or biological residue (further analysis underway).

Unwarranted opinion:

Spacecraft could potentially belong to the Squiby Mantis Ants sect or the Red Glugs. Motivation for travel to Earth currently unclear. The Squiby Mantis Ants are said to be quaint, harmless, and fun, unlike the Red Glugs, which are known for planting devastating bacterias on planets and ruining the land and water essentially killing every living thing on in and under the surface. The Red Glugs do this in order to take over the planet themselves as the entire species are sex addicts who multiply by the millions every day and are constantly in search of new places to take over (when they are not fucking each other that is).

Let us hope we have found an SMA UFO or else planet Earth is doomed.

 

UFO2GLugs
Tiny UFO near Lenore B. Quick Park, Denver.
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Time, It’s Not On Your Side.

Time.

It’s not on your side.

Or mine.

It’s been almost a year since my last blog and it’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s that I couldn’t. Turns out that the Cloud Industrial Complex got wind of my theories involving their hold on our society and decided to try to blow me over. I was held captive in the eye of a tornado for several months, only eating and drinking the things I could catch flying by. It swept me almost all the way across the United States dropping me off on top of the Appalachian mountains where I had to hike through multiple climates and terrains just to make it back into civilization.

Once I returned, a gray cloud appeared and started following me everywhere I went.

Anytime I would get online it would send a lightning bolt through my electric outlets and shut off my power before I could post anything that was happening to me.

The thing about air is it’s everywhere and the air and the clouds are like BFFs. I had to convince the air that I would only say good things about it, like how it helps us breathe etc. which it does. The air is great. Air is one of my favorite things. Air keeps us alive.

No, I haven’t been bought out. Or have I? It’s hard to tell anymore.
The thing about time is that even though I’ve been away for a year, I can pick back right where I left off and no one will be the wiser. Mostly because no one has fallen onto this website yet and thus has no idea what’s actually going on in our world.

But I know because of how time works that if I wait long enough everything will unravel just as it should. And if it doesn’t it won’t matter because eventually time will kill me, and you, and everyone we know. It’s honestly more dangerous than the Cloud Industrial Complex.

I’ll fill you in as it tick-tocks forward; in the meantime, be aware, time doesn’t move in a straight line like we were taught to believe, it’s all around us, forward, backward, upside down.

Stay-tuned.

I’m back for good and ready to fill you in on all that’s really happening out there from the air, to the clouds, to the sand in the hourglass.

Illegal Aliens Are Controlling Donald Trump

 

AKA Your Hair is Everywhere, Screaming Infidelities and Taking Its Wear

It may be at least four more years before a full global disclosure happens now that Donald Trump is in office. And the reason is right in front of our very eyes.

People around the world comment left and right,

“What is up with Donald Trump’s hair?”

Some say things like,

‘He’s rich, why doesn’t he get hair plugs or something?”

Others suggest he should,

“shave it all off.”

But, the truth of the matter is that his hair is actually not hair at all, his hair is an alien. That’s right, it is an illegal not-from-this-country, not even from this planet ALIEN and it’s not only controlling his brain, but it is now in charge of the entire United States of America, with direct repercussions to the earth AND universe, and even possibly the multi-verse.

To be clear, this alien is not just ONE alien but a colony of aliens and they are attempting what is called “the slow game.” The slow game is often something people in the dating world use as a method to win over their crush by taking their time to reveal how fabulous they are with small acts of daily kindness and flirtations, maybe the occasional sext (but never full nudity).

When it comes to aliens slow-gaming the earth it’s a bit different. Instead of just blasting the entire globe, their true goals are more aligned with removing the “cancer” aka “humans” from the land so that they can take over and claim this place as their own. By controlling the president of the United States of America, a leader amongst nations–or so the citizens are told to believe, this colony of aliens is embarking on their own subtle but effective alien-colonization of planet earth.

Do not be mistaken by Donald Trump’s hairs’ human-like qualities, those golden dry floppy strands are not of mammalian origin. Think of them as parasites. Alien parasites that are feeding on the evil, hate, and ignorance of human’s worst traits.

We must overcomb this.

This is a true illegal alien issue. It’s a nonconsensual take over of not only his body, but his brain. It’s a nonconsensual takeover of America. To put it bluntly, America is being raped by Donald Trump. Or more specifically, the alien colony trying to take over our planet by pretending to be Donald Trump’s hair.

Sure, it’s a fact that removing the alien colony would put an end to the current living Donald Trump figure, but the physical body is no longer controlled by a human spirit; the real Donald Trump has been dead for decades. Now, the aliens are after all of us.

Unless we’re capable of stopping these aliens we will all perish before there is even a full disclosure that aliens exist. We must end the aliens living on our own planet (aka Donald Trump’s hair). Then, once we have defeated them all we should build a giant dome around the earth to protect us from outside intruders, good or bad. Because we couldn’t possibly consent to things, people, aliens, we do not understand nor could we ever bother with taking the time to learn.

dtIf you look closely at this image you will find two alien eyes looking straight back at you.

Santa Claus, Big Brother, & You

The Santa Claus Myth is Your Reality

We all love that jolly man in the red suit, the one who, once a year sneaks into our house to leave us presents and eat all of our cookies. He’s just the best right?

Ho, ho, no.

santaclausbigbro

We teach our children about this myth and then, at some point, youthful innocence is corrupted and we’re turned into non-believers.

But, the truth is Santa is REAL.

Maybe not via the original story line, but he’s definitely real in real life. According the the latest conspiracy theory, Santa Claus is actually Big Brother.

Think about it.

  1. He sees you when you’re sleeping.
  2. He knows when you’re awake.
  3. He knows when you’ve been bad or good.

Santa Claus has been monitoring us for decades.

Not only that, but there are hundreds of them at malls and shopping centers across the world, spying on your purchases, spying on who you are at your core. Sure, there may not be one patriarchal all-knowing all-seeing Santa Claus, but there are thousands of individuals ones who are working for “the man,” “the man” being the people in charge of keeping us simple consumers.

What does it mean to be bad these days anyway? To not buy, buy, buy, perhaps. (could N’sync’s song actually be about consumerism and not telling someone to go away!?!)

It’s silly to not believe in Santa Claus who is in reality Big Brother, who could in fact just be marketers trying to cookie you and overwhelm your social media with ads so you give them your money and then have no money and thus can no longer do the things you really want to do. Continuing to help you hinder your own passions and forgo your dreams.

You could be your own Santa Claus.

I mean, aren’t you the one really eating those cookies anyway?

How Fake is Fake News?

Are you getting duped on the daily?!

There’s a lot of hoopla happening lately about the internet running rampant with fake news.

Facebook is supposedly going to start dividing fake news from the real news so people can tell the difference.

What’s real? What’s fake?!

Without the help of social media policing everything for us, how would we even know how to think for ourselves?!

But, we all need to take a moment to truly analyze our surrounding news situation. Could fake news stories actually be real and  “real” news stories actually be fake? What the conspiracy?!

Let’s examine some of the top “real” stories of 2016.

  • Prince “died” of an accidental drug overdose.
  • Trump will become “the next president” of the United States of America.
  • Kanye West was hospitalized because of “exhaustion” and Kim is “miserable” in their relationship and they’re going to get a “divorce”.
  • “Fake” news stories are “RUINING” the universe and everyone who exists in it.

Now, let’s take a look at some common “fake” news stories.

  • Prince William is a Lizard Nazi. When Prince Harry got in all that mess on Halloween a few years ago he was actually borrowing his brother’s uniform. There’s also speculation that Kate is part of the Tall Whites (she dyes her hair, people!) and their child is a hybrid Lizard Nazi Tall White.
  • Butt-loving Tina from Bob’s Burgers is actually a 40-year-old dude trapped in a tween girl’s body.
  • Big Foot is real and roaming around western Colorado looking for someone to start making larger sized shoes.

Those last three seem way more legit to me.

So, what’s the deal? Can we ever really know what the truth is? Or is it all just a bunch of fakeness? Unless we see it with out own two eyes can we know that it really happened? And even if we see it with our two eyes, how can we trust our own eyes?! What if it’s just our brains tricking us into thinking we see something that’s not actually there. Maybe our brains our conspiring against us just to help keep us alive longer. And why would our brains want us to be alive longer?! What’s even the point?!

just-jump-already

Just jump already.

Windshield Wiping Sadists

More from the Cloud Industrial Complex

After my first video came out regarding the Cloud Industrial Complex I was contacted by a person who prefers to remain anonymous, this person has confirmed that windshield wiper manufacturers do indeed design the driver’s side wiper to have a slight malfunction in order to smear right in front of the driver’s line of vision.

This anonymous source said:

Of course there’s the profit increase the companies gain, but the main motivation behind this gross and disturbing malfunction is that the people in charge are all sadists.

My source continued to explain that these sadists get their pleasure by inflicting frustration, irritation, and anxiety onto others. And most of all, they enjoy making the roads less safe for travelers.

Though my source was pretty nervous about coming to me with this information, the source, like so many of us drivers is tired of the smudges and wants them to stop.

The Cloud Industrial Complex is so large and complicated, but if we slowly disclose this information we can surely be free from what binds us to this earth.

These clouds want to keep raining down on us, it is big business for them after all. Plus, they get to take up all that real estate in the sky.

But, we should ask ourselves, do they really deserve to?

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